Dear Mum
I'll be back here on Thursday afternoon after work.
I have your Bank Book to pay 2 bills for you + get the $450 I gave you from my ATM so you'd have some cash.
The money is in the usual hiding place and some is in your purse.
I'll order some wood for winter from the saw mill.
I LOVE YOU.
Lanie xxx
As usual, I wrote this note for my mum before I leaving her late Saturday afternoon to return home, after arriving from work on Friday night to stay overnight and into the following day. It's a fairly stock-standard note. I leave my notes on a large pad on her kitchen table after visiting with her a couple of times a week. Our routine is fairly well-established now.
The notes are as much for mum's benefit as for any family members or friends who call in. Those visitors will sometimes write on the note that they've called in. Helps me too. Helps me to clarify what I've done or what needs to be done. I'll often take a photo of the note, just in case I forget something!
I asked mum to read it to ensure she could read my writing. She did, reading it out loud to me. Mum paused at the last line, smiled then said ... "I love you too," and we hugged.
I tell my mum ... "I love you," every chance I get.
I tell her how important she's been in my life and still is.
I tell her this for a several reasons: I actually do love her, always have; secondly, she's ageing, almost 90 years; and finally, she may not remember me in coming years. Maybe the coming year.
I tell her this for a several reasons: I actually do love her, always have; secondly, she's ageing, almost 90 years; and finally, she may not remember me in coming years. Maybe the coming year.
My dear mum is experiencing short-term memory loss which impacts upon her in myriad ways. I'm fairly well-informed primarily because I work in the health area and have daily contact with folks and their loved ones who are experiencing what my mum is. I see this as both a challenge as I see the possible future and a bonus in that I get to learn from folks.
Mum's not had any medical tests or scans specific to what she is experiencing. Not for want of me initially trying. Over a period of 12 months, intermittently, I suggested to mum about going off to see her local GP about some tests and a referral to the Gerontologist. Ultimately, mum outsmarted me. "I'm okay love, I'm just getting old." After liaising informally with a couple of Gerontologists and a colleague, at my workplace, I decided to let it go. I needed to: coming to the conclusion that I and some family members know what's happening for mum and I know how to access appropriate services if and when we need any help in the future.
When people asked ... "so is your mum being resistant?" I'd simply respond ... "actually no, mum's outsmarted me."
Whether mum's aware of what's happening for her or not, I finally concluded that she / we / I, do not need the burden of a diagnosis hanging over her / our / my head. That may-well happen eventually: but not yet. I will not have her defined by a diagnosis and label that carries with it a terrible-ness that I, as someone who loves her dearly, could not bear and because I know her so well, would cause her distress.
There's another question where I work that asks folks to start at 100 and count backwards in sevens i.e 100 - 93 - 86 -79 - 72.
Nor an Aged Care Assessment:
www.myagedcare.gov.au/eligibility-and-assessment/acat-assessments
I will not have this kind, contented, generous woman who has always, always been there for me, defined by what she is now experiencing. Mum is loved, safe and living well in her own home that she and my late dad, built 65 years ago. She potters in her big back yard, gardens, sits on a big old lounge/sofa on her front verandah watching folks come-and-go and watching the birds in the nearby trees. She loves reading. Mum loves watching sport on TV, especially football and golf too. She loves going on road trips, no matter how big or small they are. She enjoys company and enjoys being with herself. She loves children, particularly little children. Mum is a great grandmother of ten.
My mum would be considered unremarkable in the eyes of this fast-paced and disconnected society. I see her as extraordinary! She's one of the most generous people I know (in a diverse sense). And like many contemporaries of her generation, she's always given of herself to her family and others. Mum often says ...
Mum's not had any medical tests or scans specific to what she is experiencing. Not for want of me initially trying. Over a period of 12 months, intermittently, I suggested to mum about going off to see her local GP about some tests and a referral to the Gerontologist. Ultimately, mum outsmarted me. "I'm okay love, I'm just getting old." After liaising informally with a couple of Gerontologists and a colleague, at my workplace, I decided to let it go. I needed to: coming to the conclusion that I and some family members know what's happening for mum and I know how to access appropriate services if and when we need any help in the future.
When people asked ... "so is your mum being resistant?" I'd simply respond ... "actually no, mum's outsmarted me."
Whether mum's aware of what's happening for her or not, I finally concluded that she / we / I, do not need the burden of a diagnosis hanging over her / our / my head. That may-well happen eventually: but not yet. I will not have her defined by a diagnosis and label that carries with it a terrible-ness that I, as someone who loves her dearly, could not bear and because I know her so well, would cause her distress.
So, there's been no MMSE which is similar to this:
https://www.ihpa.gov.au/sites/g/files/net636/f/publications/smmse-tool-v2.pdfThere's another question where I work that asks folks to start at 100 and count backwards in sevens i.e 100 - 93 - 86 -79 - 72.
Nor an Aged Care Assessment:
My mum would be considered unremarkable in the eyes of this fast-paced and disconnected society. I see her as extraordinary! She's one of the most generous people I know (in a diverse sense). And like many contemporaries of her generation, she's always given of herself to her family and others. Mum often says ...
"I've had a good life"
Betty Lorraine Pianta
Born: 9th September 1927
